100% and nothing less

I think when you lose, you can’t really, for reals, honestly say you tried your best.

I go into any competition saying “All I can do is give my best… 100% of what I have. That’s all I have.”

But today I lost. And I’m not really sure I can walk away saying I for reals 100% gave my best. I failed. And I failed big.

No, I’m not “brave” for doing it in the first place. Thank you for the compliment. But competing is what I do. And, yes, I believe I worked very hard. And honestly, I sacrificed a lot of things toward this goal.

Nevertheless… I’m disappointed. Man, am I disappointed!  I hate that I spent an absurd amount of energy into sculpting my body into something the judges would like, and they didn’t even notice me. I’m angry about setting a goal that I thought would be reasonable, and yet I wasn’t even close. I’m frustrated that I can’t seem to win when I want it!

I don’t want a lecture about how I should be thankful for the opportunity. Or it’s the Process that is supposed to give me the most joy. Or that I should be thankful I won second place two years ago without any sacrifice.

Truth be told, I want you to feel sorry for me. And I want you to tell me that what I thought was my best can be improved upon.

I know I’m not alone.

Here’s why we can’t give up. Because our best is sometimes not good enough.

What I mean is, you’re probably capable of SO MUCH MORE than what you thought was your best.

I want big muscles. For no other reason than I like it. It has no great meaning other than to me. And I guess I want to be honored for it at NPC competitions. Your goals may be just as mundane, or they may be profound. No matter, they are your goals and that makes them important.

I think as long as you still want something for yourself it’s always worth your best effort. Only better.