My sister and I ask, what is it about us that makes us always looking out for something that we’re not doing now? It’s been like a huge life-long issue for us.
I don’t think we’re alone; I can’t imagine we are. We never seem satisfied. We want another animal. Or another career. Or to move. We don’t say “If I had this – or did that – I’d be happy.” But it’s something like that. Some of my friends would say I need Jesus. But I already have Jesus. Jesus changed my life, don’t get me wrong! But I still feel like there’s something missing.
The answer finally dawned on me today. A few months ago I read a book called Lost Connections that I can’t get out of my mind. He talks about nine different anti-depressants that have nothing to do with medication. It could be the most paradigm-shifting, life-changing book you ever read. Some of it, you’ve never heard before. And some of it might be something you’ve intuitively considered. But to have him explain it with full examination of meta-analysis, is enlightening… no…astounding.
My sister is one of the most multi-talented people I know. She has remarkable competence for a huge variety skills. She has a work ethic few people will top. She is kind, generous and compassionate. Everyone who knows her knows this about her. Although, I don’t know she fully gets it.
I am aware that I have many skills and talents. I actually spend a lot of time recognizing, through journaling and prayer, the many gifts I have been given. And I am working on changing my life story to one of opportunity, not misfortune.
But we still live with anxiety of a different, better future. I am writing this today to reach people who are like us because you might have heard the answer is to learn to be content. And I believe that answer is fatal.
Contentedness is anathema to people who have a spirit of … what shall we call it… Wanting More. A goal of contentedness for people like us is a sure way toward mind-numbing addictions to cause us to surrender.
The reason we live with anxiety for wanting more is because we are not living up to our potential!
And it is our responsibility; our obligation to do so! We have to keep fighting. We have to keep dreaming. I believe our goal needs to be more energy, somehow, to keep searching; keep climbing. Our goal needs to be to keep caring. We have to believe people need us! Because people need us! We have to believe the vast talents, life experience, and mental and physical abilities have been given to us for a reason. And if we have not discovered that reason, it is our duty to figure it out.
I will die exploring what is my potential. Although I have bouts of depression because my search seems so void, by God’s grace I have a husband and friends who will shepherd me out, and get me on my feet again. But our friends need to know, contentedness is not the goal. What encouragement is a friend who tells us not to fall asleep. Like the mountaineer struggling to stay awake from exhaustion, her partners keeps her walking to keep her alive. That’s the companionship we need.
Sisters everywhere – we have to be brave enough to tell our story. Don’t be ashamed of you are. Speak up. Show up. Try something else. Let your discontent disrupt you into trying something else even more meaningful. Pray for energy. Help someone up. Be helped. This is my call for help. I need help. I’ve started a hashtag: #BeAmazingTheMovement for people who want to keep getting better, and who need the empathy of others to give them energy and breath and revitalization. I hope you’ll post your success and needs and support.
