have positivity all around me. But I’m swallowed by self-pity.
Do you put a time-limit on trying too hard inside pools of uncertainty? Do you set a standard for how long you’ll endure paddling upstream? How much positive thinking can a person absorb before admitting it’s never going to be me.
I know I’m not alone! But I feel alone. I’m wondering if I should keep laboring or quit laboring.
Does this sound familiar?
I have a process I give clients called “Decision Balance,” to help them decide whether or not they really want to go through with an action plan for a goal. It measures, for example, if someone is ready to embark on a weight loss plan. Or a race-prep program. Or a get healthy so I can live a better life when I’m old program. Or a move to another city and start a new business program.
They answer four statements:
Quadrant 1: Benefits of saying Yes (‘ll follow through)!
Quadrant 2: Benefits of saying NO (nevermind, I don’t want to do this).
Quadrant 3: Consequences of saying Yes! (If I do this, what’s the price?)
Quadrant 4: Consequences of saying NO. (If I don’t do this, what’s the price?)
In quadrant 4- Consequences of saying NO- If the answers don’t bring you to tears, you’re probably not really, ready to say Yes! It’s the gateway to your Why. And cling-worthy when you are where I am at right now.
Unwittingly, I’ve been an entrepreneur most of my working life. And since I didn’t really know that’s what I was, I didn’t prepare very well. I just went about my day. Today, I am paying for my foolishness; paddling a swift upstream.
I’m feeling so beaten and crushed, and yet, when I think of quitting, I’m in quadrant four. And I’m not me. I’m someone else. The price is just too high for quitting! I’ve pivoted. And I’ve pivoted again. And again. So I’m not inflexible. I’m malleable, and willing, and desiring to be resilient, and creative and tenacious and wise, and I am wise and experienced and knowledgeable, but then the years tick by and I’m still back here and not out there. My life is a result of all the choices I’ve ever made. I’ve made my bed and now I lie in it, said another way, depending on if your cup is half full or half empty.
The point I guess I’m making is, being hopeful is better than not being hopeful especially if the consequences of not saying Yes! devastate you. It’s easy to forget your Why when the alarm rings too early. Or when the mirror doesn’t reflect what you want to see. Or your surroundings aren’t revealing what you’ve been seeking. Remember your Why. Give it a vision. Give Quadrant 4 vision. Cry about it and relentlessly progress forward.