I’m Coming Out

It’s been about six years since a doctor told me to get this tiny lump on my thyroid checked out… a goiter, I guess I’m supposed to say. I don’t use that word very often because it’s about the ugliest word on the planet. As ugly as itself. I think of that Seinfeld episode where the lady’s (g-word) was so repulsive Elaine literally couldn’t look at her.

Over the years, It’s transformed into an actual presence in our home. From a barely being acknowledged thing, to practically having its own seat at the table. From whispering to me, to bellowing at me in photos.

When it was first diagnosed, I thought it had to do with my malnourished diet of coffee and Cliff bars for a couple years while I built my business. So I started eating better and expected to see a change.

I read somewhere that throat illnesses are often manifest from issues with not speaking up; or shutting down your own voice in some way. And about three years ago, I learned on a TED talk, the way I held one arm tucked into my torso, with the hand of my other arm clasped around my throat was the most insecure posture a person could hold. So I have scrupulously sought ways to express who God made me to be through written word and speaking; and unlearning shame and resentment. And I expected to see changes.

I’ve been to two naturopaths, a DO, an endocrinologist, a pathologist and consulted many experts through web sites and book authors. On many occasions, I’ve had blood drawn for every known thyroid test. I’ve spit into a vial for evaluations of cortisol, testosterone and sundry other hormones; I watched an intimidating needle aspirate pink fluid for a biopsy; I laid silently in the head-tilt position reminiscent of a CPR victim on many occasions for ultrasounds. And I expected to get help to make changes.

Well… I guess…change has happened… just not in the right direction.

Recently my husband and I started a plant based diet, and a product called Juice Plus (which is fruits and vegetable in a capsule) because I’m done being passé with my “first brain,” the GI tract, and its inevitable relationship to my overall health, including my desperate thyroid. And, about a month ago, upon the request of my new functional medicine doctor, I carefully scraped a few samples of my feces into a tiny vial for the lab techs at Diagnostic Solutions to perform a DNA Stool Analysis.

Today, I got those results back. The good news is, if I was not a person who is so diligent about healthy lifestyle choices, I could be seriously suffering. The bad news is, my digestive system is a mess. A real mess.

So, in two weeks I’ll be starting an aggressive supplement regimen that is aimed at eliminating the bad stuff and balancing the good stuff. Finally some hope for a positive change, and I’m excited to get started.

I’m a little nervous about coming out with a goiter because I seriously do not want this ugly thing to be a conversation starter. But it’s important because I believe in a body’s ability to heal itself when given what it needs, and I want you to believe it too.

Stay tuned!

3 thoughts on “I’m Coming Out

  1. I have never noticed this on you really! Its because you and your energy always lead the way plus you keep us so busy dying as we are training that we are too tired to notice anything else. Love your skill at writing!

    1. Thanks Marmy! Thanks for reading! thanks for working hard and and committing to your excellent health! I always look forward to seeing you! Thank you for kind words!

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