“And you will try to hide and make it seem like it’s nothin’
But really you feel like everything is crashin’ around you
And you develop a problem in trustin’ in other people
Which later became an issue that will mentally pound you
You only get one life
But every time you lookin’ at yours you feel like all you ever see are mistakes
And the problem and the reason you could never move forward in life
Is because you were never awake
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
Wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
Wake up!
wake up!
wake up!
wake up!”
NF
Today, God called me to Wake Up!
I took the Predictive Index recently. The PI is a behavioral assessment that measures a person’s motivating drives and needs. It’s used in the business setting to help professionals work better together; and for hiring, to assure people are placed in a setting where they are most happy and most productive.
The stark contrast between how I perceive myself and how am actually wired solved a life-long problem. Actually, it wasn’t the contrast, it was the Why for the contrast.
And I’m done. I’m done sleeping.
My strengths, it said, are: building strong relationships, motivating, teaching, sharing information. That I tend toward uninhibited expressions of friendliness. That I am interested in people; focused on meeting goals with people; I thrive on teamwork and building relationships.
The dilemma I felt looking at it – just as I have with any other index like 16-personalities (ENFJ), Enneagram (3), and DISC model (High I) – and wondering how this fits in with how I feel.
I feel afraid of people. I feel afraid of being a disappointment, incompetent or late. I feel like I must stay quiet because no one wants listen to my words; I feel like I must stay still because no one wants my influence. I feel like this is prison.
I know what it feels like to be at home in my skin. I was motiving, teaching, collaborating. Using my voice to build relationships. Goal-setting with small groups. Sharing exciting information. I was confident, decisive, enthusiastic. I feel like this is freedom.
When a person resides where she is not wired, she suffers a slow death. She actually creates sickness that affects her physical, mental and spiritual well-being.
The PI showed a graph they called my “Self,” and a graph they called my “Self-Concept.” As expected, the Self-Concept graph is the exact opposite of the Self graph. I was told when a person experiences change such as moving, starting a new job, going to school, jumping into new environment, their self-concept might be affected by the change.
And this is where I WAKE UP!
I blamed God for giving me a great personality that I couldn’t experience because I was imprisoned in this skin that repelled people. But the insecurity was a consequence – literally! – of moving, of changing my world, having to prove myself to new communities, new people, new cultures. AND I made a habit of living in that bubble of uncertainty, timidity, self-doubt, self-loathing. Instead of figuring out how to bust out of the coma, I allowed it to define me.
But today, I Wake up!
The problem and reason I could never move forward in life is because I was never awake!
Today, my fists in the air, I shout WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
Whether or not you need an assessment to tell you how God has wired you, WAKE UP and LIVE IT! Admit your great qualities! flaunt what makes you amazing! Be the person who feels the most alive! Maybe you’ve allowed some outside circumstances to shape your personality into someone you’re not comfortable with. Get out! Re-evaluate! Shatter the parts that don’t belong! Sometimes you’re not sure who you are. Take one of those assessments, and if it feels right, make it happen… exponentially! Find a coach or a mentor to help you develop the you who can uniquely impact the world! And then impact the world!
That’s what I’m going to do! I promise, I’m no longer going to pretend I don’t need people. Because that is exactly what I need! This child of God has the ability to impact the world for better, and it will be done with people! I promise I will find you! I am no longer ashamed of this mind, this heart and this voice! I am waking up, and I am allowing God to use the real me!
